Sunday, December 9, 2012
Eveytin kew.
Ahh you guys know me. I'm a sucker and a glutton for punishment. I love the thrill of the wide nosed freaks that troll the internet/dating sites and delight when I have message in my inbox. Who knows what kind of message I'm going to open right? Most of them are pretty benign. Just your average 45-50 year old dude living in Apple Valley or Winnetka or some other place I ain't ever heard of, wanting to tell me I'm pretty and they'd love to take me on a long walk on the beach....
Gah. But sometimes I do just want to go out on a date. I have been talking to someone online, and we've been trying to get our shit together to get together lately so I've been active on my OKcupid profile. Which leads me to this little exchange. Beware. Awesomeness will ensue:
This is how it started. We went from "hello" to "everytin kew". I mean. I had to read the message 5 times outloud until I figured out what he was trying to say. Rather then ignore the message, I got kind of mad that I'd actually bothered to sound out these idiots jumble of words, so I responded:
I mean, I actually took time to try and figure out what this idiot was saying to me. But hey, fool me once, right?
I got home on Friday night and was randomly checking my email when I got a notification I had a message from this suitor.
This was his response:
"Idleheaded" has since removed his profile.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
He couldn't handle it...
Whelp tickets. New year. New efforts.
So, let me start off by saying I've been turned off to the concept of online dating. Not only cause those guys are freaks with a capital F, but because I like to actually get out there, and see and touch the merchandise. You don't buy fruit online, you go to a store where you can look it over, feel it, touch it, smell it and decide if you wanna take it home with you.
Yes. I am comparing going to a bar and talking to guys to picking fruit.
I do maintain a couple of sites on the off chance someone might pique my interest, but I've been pretty blase about them.
Ewwwwwww. That is until this little gem presented itself to me via my email box, and it made me realize I need to get back to maintaining this blog.
I mean...Really?
There are a lot of things to say about this, so I'm not even going to go there. But I will say this, if you're going to boast having an 8" penis..can you at least be cute? Or not old?
Which also leads me to last Saturday when we went out. There was this kind of cute guy with a less cute guy who started talking to my sister. She invited them over to join us, and they turned out to be dicks. Well, the less cute one was a tad nicer, but that's cause he was less cute and is used to having to work a little harder. I wish I hadn't been so drunk, or else I would have taken a damn picture of the cuter guy to make fun of him. I mean..really Sugar Ray, you're a grown ass man wearing a god damn straw hat like you're in Panama? Turd.
Gentlemen of Los Angeles...watch out..I'm back.
So, let me start off by saying I've been turned off to the concept of online dating. Not only cause those guys are freaks with a capital F, but because I like to actually get out there, and see and touch the merchandise. You don't buy fruit online, you go to a store where you can look it over, feel it, touch it, smell it and decide if you wanna take it home with you.
Yes. I am comparing going to a bar and talking to guys to picking fruit.
I do maintain a couple of sites on the off chance someone might pique my interest, but I've been pretty blase about them.
Ewwwwwww. That is until this little gem presented itself to me via my email box, and it made me realize I need to get back to maintaining this blog.
I mean...Really?
There are a lot of things to say about this, so I'm not even going to go there. But I will say this, if you're going to boast having an 8" penis..can you at least be cute? Or not old?
Which also leads me to last Saturday when we went out. There was this kind of cute guy with a less cute guy who started talking to my sister. She invited them over to join us, and they turned out to be dicks. Well, the less cute one was a tad nicer, but that's cause he was less cute and is used to having to work a little harder. I wish I hadn't been so drunk, or else I would have taken a damn picture of the cuter guy to make fun of him. I mean..really Sugar Ray, you're a grown ass man wearing a god damn straw hat like you're in Panama? Turd.
Gentlemen of Los Angeles...watch out..I'm back.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
An unhappy trend
So, its been a while. Yes, I've had a bit of a dry spell, but in honor of Valentines day, I uploaded a new picture, which always leads to increased activity on the ol' profile...
This is the one and only guy who looked at my profile:
He's married, likes music for its "math properties", and "runs the show".
He' also says he's "fit" and short.
I think the thing that is the most offensive to me is the fact that he claims he only reads Ayn Rand.
A lot of guys who do not have 6 pack abs take pictures of themselves without shirts on. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you're going to take bathroom pictures without your shirt on, can you at least have a smoking hot body?
I'm getting out of town this weekend, back to San Francisco, so hopefully there will be something more to report on the ol' bone of the month front.
(By the way, I totally admit this is a really lame post, but I wanted to do something and otherwise...got nothing..)
This is the one and only guy who looked at my profile:
He's married, likes music for its "math properties", and "runs the show".
He' also says he's "fit" and short.
I think the thing that is the most offensive to me is the fact that he claims he only reads Ayn Rand.
A lot of guys who do not have 6 pack abs take pictures of themselves without shirts on. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you're going to take bathroom pictures without your shirt on, can you at least have a smoking hot body?
I'm getting out of town this weekend, back to San Francisco, so hopefully there will be something more to report on the ol' bone of the month front.
(By the way, I totally admit this is a really lame post, but I wanted to do something and otherwise...got nothing..)
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Orient vs. the Occident.
Well, well, well. Another post for you guys. This ones gonna be real good.
Monday night, I got an OK Cupid IM from someone with the screen name: Superhotmale....
and another picture...
(Yes. He looks like a corpse...like some sort of Weekend at Bernies type of deal)
Now you guys. I want you to be aware that it is entirely my fault for engaging in this conversation. But what do you want me to say, I was bored, and I've been desperate to have something else to blog about. At first I didn't think this would get any weirder than it already was, but then this week got rull good.
Here is some of our first chat on Monday night.
9:39:31 pm)SuperHotMale:New York IS the east!
(9:40:08 pm)SuperHotMale:i asked you a question that ended in "English"
(9:40:13 pm)SuperHotMale:you are esmart
(9:40:15 pm)SuperHotMale:i like.
(9:40:29 pm)SuperHotMale:ethnocentric is the only correct reason
(9:40:31 pm)SuperHotMale:but
(9:40:39 pm)SuperHotMale:we espeak the English
(9:43:29 pm)yellowrockit:Wow. Thats great.
(9:43:36 pm)yellowrockit:I'm honored that you like that I speak English.
(9:43:55 pm)yellowrockit:I also like the irony of your profile name.
(9:44:00 pm)SuperHotMale:HAHAHAHA
(9:44:02 pm)yellowrockit:How was Burning Man last year?
(9:44:05 pm)SuperHotMale:you are funniness
(9:44:22 pm)yellowrockit:I'm sorry. I can't speak to someone who doesn't know how to spell or speak English either.
(9:44:33 pm)SuperHotMale:LLL
(9:44:41 pm)yellowrockit:Sorry buddy. But your profile picture makes you look like Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China. You might want to rethink that beard
(9:45:01 pm)SuperHotMale:i don't watch said movie
(9:45:54 pm)yellowrockit:I have no problem if Engilsh isn't your first language, but right now I don't have the patience for it
(9:46:10 pm)SuperHotMale:patience is a virtue, my black friend
(9:46:41 pm)SuperHotMale:Cali is an island, btw. it pisses me off to
(9:46:56 pm)yellowrockit:too.
(9:47:07 pm)SuperHotMale:that was especial for u
(9:47:19 pm)SuperHotMale:i am a bit l8 right now
(9:48:18 pm)yellowrockit:I have no interest in having to read through your poor grammar and texting shortcuts. Especially since you aren't even cute.
(9:48:33 pm)SuperHotMale:oh, i am more than cute
(9:48:40 pm)SuperHotMale:and, presently, on a magazine cover
(9:48:48 pm)yellowrockit:which one?
(9:48:54 pm)SuperHotMale:why would i tell you?
(9:48:58 pm)SuperHotMale:an expensive one.
(9:49:09 pm)yellowrockit:You're right. Why would you tell me.
(9:49:14 pm)SuperHotMale:opposite some dame
(9:49:25 pm)SuperHotMale:i cann--olivia wilde!
(9:49:37 pm)SuperHotMale:i had to google her, since know not who she was I.
(9:49:44 pm)yellowrockit:Who is that?
(9:49:56 pm)SuperHotMale:yahoo is your friend, yellowcrockit
(9:50:49 pm)yellowrockit:Umm. Yahoo is an old college friend, but my new best friend is google.
(9:51:07 pm)SuperHotMale:no
(9:51:12 pm)SuperHotMale:google is the evil.
(9:51:25 pm)SuperHotMale:although i use it quite a bit
(9:51:39 pm)yellowrockit:The evil? What about the big layoff yahoo just did. I know people who lost their jobs this last month because of yahoo
(9:51:49 pm)SuperHotMale:so?
(9:51:55 pm)SuperHotMale:jobs are meant to be lost
(9:52:11 pm)yellowrockit:So, again, its all about perspective. You think google is evil, and I disagree.
(9:52:14 pm)SuperHotMale:i forgot what google did to piss me off
(9:52:32 pm)SuperHotMale:probably partner with that evil myspace
(9:52:47 pm)yellowrockit:Maybe your overinflated ego wasn't happy with your search results?
(9:52:53 pm)SuperHotMale:HAHAHA
(9:53:00 pm)SuperHotMale:you are the funny
(9:53:14 pm)SuperHotMale:mine ego not so inflated, yerrowlockit
(9:54:12 pm)yellowrockit:Yeah. Your perception isn't that great either.
(9:54:22 pm)SuperHotMale:LLL
(9:54:28 pm)yellowrockit:Note to you, its not such a good idea "talkin' chinesey" with Asian people..
(9:54:36 pm)SuperHotMale:HAHA
(9:54:52 pm)SuperHotMale:its talking Oriental. not all accents are chinese!
(9:54:56 pm)SuperHotMale:sheesh!
(9:54:59 pm)yellowrockit:Welp, I wanna talk about your creepy profile pictures.
(9:55:03 pm)SuperHotMale:hahah
(9:55:08 pm)yellowrockit:I mean, the last one makes you look like a corpse. Really.
(9:55:15 pm)SuperHotMale:how many of them do you see? the main one was reported
(9:55:25 pm)SuperHotMale:so i wonder how mny you can see yerro
(9:55:28 pm)yellowrockit:Was it of your tiny weiner?
(9:55:46 pm)SuperHotMale:no, i have never photograph ed my weiner
(9:55:50 pm)SuperHotMale:and i am not chinese.
(9:56:20 pm)SuperHotMale:you are on the drug?
(9:56:24 pm)yellowrockit:Are you sure?I'm pretty sure you're Chinese.
(9:56:31 pm)SuperHotMale:Nope.
(9:56:41 pm)yellowrockit:I like that you keep looking at my profile too. Are you trying to find things to pick apart about it?
(9:56:42 pm)SuperHotMale:I dont even eat much chinese foods.
(9:56:49 pm)SuperHotMale:But I have a friend who is chinese
(9:56:56 pm)SuperHotMale:i mean, i know many chinese
(9:57:02 pm)yellowrockit:I'm sure you do.
(9:57:06 pm)SuperHotMale:i even had a chinese live with me
(9:57:14 pm)SuperHotMale:temporarily
(9:57:23 pm)yellowrockit:Was she your servant?
(9:57:27 pm)SuperHotMale:best person i ever lived with!
(9:57:30 pm)SuperHotMale:no
(9:57:38 pm)yellowrockit:Are you sure?
(9:57:45 pm)SuperHotMale:pretty sure.
(9:57:58 pm)SuperHotMale:what is it you do, lockit?
(9:58:03 pm)yellowrockit:Well, I don't believe you.
(9:58:09 pm)SuperHotMale:hmm.
(9:58:20 pm)SuperHotMale:you don't have to be chinese to be myservant
(9:58:27 pm)yellowrockit:What is it YOU do Lo Pan?
(9:58:30 pm)SuperHotMale:wow , that is going to be the name of my next song!
(9:58:33 pm)SuperHotMale:LLL
(9:58:43 pm)SuperHotMale:i dont even know anymore, socket
(9:59:04 pm)SuperHotMale:right now i am trying to bask in my 3 seconds of fame on a magazine cover
(9:59:06 pm)yellowrockit:OH god. You're in a band.
(9:59:12 pm)yellowrockit:You're THAT guy.
(9:59:17 pm)SuperHotMale:then, i should find someone to marry . and love er
(9:59:22 pm)SuperHotMale:no, not that guy
(9:59:36 pm)SuperHotMale:by educations, i am an engineer, my dear
(9:59:42 pm)SuperHotMale:like many orientals
(9:59:47 pm)yellowrockit:Well, I'm here to tell you, enjoy it. I mean, its not show friend, its who business.
(10:00:08 pm)SuperHotMale:the world is like this.
(10:00:13 pm)SuperHotMale:so i want to die
(10:00:17 pm)SuperHotMale:Sepuku, if you will
(10:00:23 pm)SuperHotMale:Will you be my second?
(10:00:27 pm)yellowrockit:I don't know what that is.
(10:00:32 pm)SuperHotMale:I dont trust you enough to be
(10:00:38 pm)SuperHotMale:It is a Jap word.
(10:00:43 pm)SuperHotMale:hghfh
(10:00:49 pm)yellowrockit:Ahhh. Jap words. Wonderful.
(10:01:02 pm)SuperHotMale:quite honorable
(10:01:12 pm)SuperHotMale:you do not espeak any other languages?
(10:01:14 pm)yellowrockit:I mean, are you really mad that I dont' have jacked teeth and can speak English?
(10:01:22 pm)SuperHotMale:u will enjoy:
(10:01:29 pm)SuperHotMale:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJh1i4la6Pg&feature=related
(10:01:37 pm)SuperHotMale:HAHAHAHAH you are most funninesses
(10:01:45 pm)SuperHotMale:i love your English skills
(10:01:56 pm)yellowrockit:So, whats your shitty band's name?
(10:02:01 pm)SuperHotMale:LLLLLLLLLLL
(10:02:06 pm)SuperHotMale:My Shitty Band
(10:02:16 pm)SuperHotMale:Google that shit!
(10:02:18 pm)yellowrockit:Oh yeah. I've definitely heard of you.
(10:02:21 pm)SuperHotMale:that's the name of the album
(10:02:34 pm)SuperHotMale:I ve definitely heard of you is going to be a track on it
(10:02:42 pm)SuperHotMale:you didnt tell me what you do
(10:03:00 pm)yellowrockit:OK. So if youre just some creepy looking engineer, why are you on the cover of a magazine with some actress I've never heard of?
(10:03:03 pm)yellowrockit:I'm a paralegal
(10:03:12 pm)SuperHotMale:i too, am a paralegal
(10:03:24 pm)SuperHotMale:but i only have one case right now
(10:03:27 pm)SuperHotMale:which i finished
(10:03:33 pm)SuperHotMale:so this week cometh the check
(10:03:41 pm)yellowrockit:Is it the case of annoying me?
(10:03:45 pm)SuperHotMale:HAHAH
(10:03:58 pm)SuperHotMale:why you do not come with me and estudy for the bar?
(10:04:17 pm)SuperHotMale:you are esmart. i like. what is the zip code of where you work?
(10:04:34 pm)yellowrockit:Ugh. I have no interest in becoming an attorney.
(10:04:56 pm)SuperHotMale:i talked to one today. very esleazy
(10:04:59 pm)SuperHotMale:but you can be a good one
(10:05:07 pm)SuperHotMale:together, we can unite!
(10:05:20 pm)SuperHotMale:We can unite the Orient and the Occident
(10:05:25 pm)SuperHotMale:NY and cali
(10:05:26 pm)SuperHotMale:fornia
(10:05:36 pm)yellowrockit:Nope. And besides, didn't you read that article in the paper about the law school trap?
(10:05:41 pm)SuperHotMale:idiots who dont know cali is an island!
(10:05:59 pm)SuperHotMale:i dont read the paper much, but i got friday's la times, i think
(10:06:12 pm)SuperHotMale:what trap?
(10:06:32 pm)SuperHotMale:a lot of attorneys, to pay for law school, would dance on one's lap
(10:06:38 pm)SuperHotMale:whores that they are
(10:06:46 pm)SuperHotMale:a lot of them work ed for heidi fleish
(10:07:37 pm)yellowrockit:This conversation is tedious and your weird yoda-esque way of speaking is getting on my nerves.
(10:07:54 pm)yellowrockit:I like the idea of me the occident, and you the orient becoming some sort of crime fighting team though.
(10:07:55 pm)SuperHotMale:thank you for the yoda esque
(10:08:03 pm)yellowrockit:that should be a funny or die skit.
(10:08:05 pm)SuperHotMale:UNITE!
(10:08:09 pm)SuperHotMale:LLLLLL
(10:08:15 pm)SuperHotMale:we must eskit together.
(10:08:25 pm)SuperHotMale:you didnt tell me the zip code
(10:08:39 pm)yellowrockit:I work in burbank.
(10:08:41 pm)yellowrockit:I'm temping right now
(10:08:57 pm)SuperHotMale:what agency do you go through to temp?
(10:09:10 pm)yellowrockit:Kelly law
(10:09:34 pm)SuperHotMale:do you know Barrington Kemp
(10:09:37 pm)SuperHotMale:?
(10:09:42 pm)SuperHotMale:What is your zip code?
(10:09:42 pm)yellowrockit:no
(10:09:49 pm)yellowrockit:90024
(10:09:58 pm)SuperHotMale:WOW
(10:10:01 pm)SuperHotMale:bruin?
(10:10:16 pm)yellowrockit:God no
(10:10:21 pm)SuperHotMale:wtf?
(10:10:27 pm)SuperHotMale:where you went to the eskools?
(10:10:29 pm)yellowrockit:I live with my sister, we're moving soon.
(10:10:40 pm)SuperHotMale:moving where?
(10:10:47 pm)yellowrockit:Over to the east side.
(10:10:56 pm)yellowrockit:Everyone west of La Brea has some sort of mental defect.
(10:10:56 pm)SuperHotMale:yes. you seem crazy like that.
(10:11:15 pm)SuperHotMale:not everyone. and the defective ones are mainly east of la brea
(10:11:25 pm)SuperHotMale:how long have you lived in 90024?
(10:11:55 pm)yellowrockit:No. Literally. It took me half an hour to drive through beverly hills today because I mean..there is something WRONG with those people today.
(10:12:11 pm)SuperHotMale:maybe they are asiatic drivers
(10:12:23 pm)SuperHotMale:you dont tell me where you went to school
(10:12:32 pm)SuperHotMale:and you should take the bus
(10:12:36 pm)SuperHotMale:or a motorcycle
(10:12:46 pm)SuperHotMale:because WHO lives in 90024 and works in burbank?
(10:12:51 pm)yellowrockit:I went to school in a different city.
(10:12:57 pm)yellowrockit:I told your crusty ass. I'm moving soon.
(10:12:59 pm)SuperHotMale:Quizas you should come here, and you i should spank
(10:13:04 pm)SuperHotMale:my ass is not crusty
(10:13:15 pm)SuperHotMale:what city? name of school?
(10:13:23 pm)yellowrockit:I need to get the fuck off this side. Nothing but idiots.
(10:13:36 pm)yellowrockit:I went to San Francisco State
(10:13:38 pm)SuperHotMale:i have similar feelings
(10:13:43 pm)SuperHotMale:but i like you
(10:13:47 pm)SuperHotMale:despite your problems
(10:13:52 pm)SuperHotMale:and insulting my ass
(10:13:56 pm)SuperHotMale:you should apologize
(10:14:10 pm)yellowrockit:You should apologize for making me look at your creepy ass pictures
(10:14:40 pm)SuperHotMale:NO
(10:14:45 pm)SuperHotMale:you did not have to
(10:14:56 pm)SuperHotMale:where is your sister now?
(10:15:05 pm)yellowrockit:out
(10:15:12 pm)SuperHotMale:out where?
(10:15:15 pm)SuperHotMale:with whom?
(10:15:17 pm)SuperHotMale:doing what?
(10:15:24 pm)SuperHotMale:is she eskinnier than you?
(10:15:28 pm)SuperHotMale:what does she do?
(10:15:34 pm)SuperHotMale:she also went to sf state?
(10:15:34 pm)yellowrockit:yeah. She is. she's a lot skinnier than me.
(10:15:51 pm)SuperHotMale:do you feel its better to love, or to hate?
(10:16:17 pm)yellowrockit:I'm not going to answer that stupid question.
(10:16:20 pm)SuperHotMale:i asked you six questions and you answered one. every one i meet
(10:16:23 pm)SuperHotMale:"meet"
(10:16:30 pm)SuperHotMale:here has some psychiatric issue
(10:16:38 pm)yellowrockit:I know. I feel the same way.
(10:16:40 pm)SuperHotMale:L and that question is not estupid!
(10:16:49 pm)SuperHotMale:maybe you should get helps
(10:17:00 pm)SuperHotMale:Bring me Persian foods from Westwood
(10:17:05 pm)yellowrockit:No.
(10:17:13 pm)SuperHotMale:my very good chinese friend gave me his jasmine tea
(10:17:19 pm)yellowrockit:your slave?
(10:17:26 pm)SuperHotMale:cost him 40 fifty dollars in the china
(10:17:30 pm)SuperHotMale:LL
(10:17:32 pm)SuperHotMale:no
(10:17:33 pm)yellowrockit:so why are you on a magazine cover?
(10:17:42 pm)SuperHotMale:i was told "you are perfect"
(10:17:49 pm)SuperHotMale:more than once, actually
(10:17:56 pm)SuperHotMale:at least once in email, female.
(10:18:05 pm)yellowrockit:So which magazine is it?
(10:18:10 pm)SuperHotMale:when you answer questions, we can go on
(10:18:18 pm)SuperHotMale:i asked 7 questions now, yo uanswerwed ONE
(10:18:19 pm)yellowrockit:no. frack that.
(10:18:23 pm)SuperHotMale:also, give me her email
(10:18:28 pm)yellowrockit:I'm answering all your questions, and you ain't answering none.
(10:18:28 pm)SuperHotMale:and her number.
(10:18:31 pm)yellowrockit:give you who's email?
(10:18:36 pm)SuperHotMale:sister.
(10:18:48 pm)yellowrockit:God. She's terrified of Lo Pan.
(10:18:57 pm)SuperHotMale:i also have a moving company, so, if you need movers, let me know
(10:19:07 pm)SuperHotMale:i do not know this lo pan
(10:19:11 pm)yellowrockit:God. You're that guy.
(10:19:19 pm)SuperHotMale:LL
(10:19:19 pm)yellowrockit:Google that shit son. You're a creeper on your profile.
(10:19:28 pm)SuperHotMale:you are trying too hard
(10:19:37 pm)yellowrockit:Yup. I'm the one trying too hard.
(10:19:40 pm)SuperHotMale:dont cal me son
(10:20:17 pm)yellowrockit:Sorry lo pan
(10:20:46 pm)SuperHotMale:why you do not bring me persian foods from westwood?
(10:20:59 pm)yellowrockit:I thought you were getting your chinese slave to do it.
(10:21:31 pm)SuperHotMale:no. you. come. i shall give you tea. or alcohol, since i think that is your preference.
(10:22:09 pm)yellowrockit:Nope. I'm as dry as a bone
(10:22:22 pm)SuperHotMale:give yourself to your dog you do
(10:22:38 pm)yellowrockit:what?
(10:22:52 pm)SuperHotMale:if you bring foods, we can chat easier
(10:23:28 pm)yellowrockit:Ugh. No way. I can tolerate this terrible conversation over chat, but having to hear your creepy face speaking like Yoda would be too much.
(10:23:59 pm)SuperHotMale:You do not know this. I am better once i eat the persian foods from westwood
(10:24:11 pm)SuperHotMale:i will take a bike ride soon
(10:24:15 pm)SuperHotMale:care to join?
(10:24:47 pm)yellowrockit:No.
(10:24:59 pm)SuperHotMale:you can work off some calories. come.
(10:25:05 pm)yellowrockit:I don't have a bike.
(10:25:06 pm)SuperHotMale:i can make you a salad
(10:25:10 pm)SuperHotMale:i have more than one
(10:25:14 pm)yellowrockit:And besides, I already went on my run for today. My knees are shot.
(10:25:37 pm)SuperHotMale:when you are overwieght, you should not run. bike, or swim
(10:25:50 pm)yellowrockit:WElp. I guess that means all I can do is gain weight.
(10:25:57 pm)SuperHotMale:it puts much pressures on your knees
(10:26:10 pm)SuperHotMale:no. eat right. exercise. is very good.
(10:26:11 pm)yellowrockit:YEah. Thats it. I'm just so fat its blowing out my knees.
(10:26:13 pm)yellowrockit:You got it.
(10:27:13 pm)SuperHotMale:what time do you work tomorrow?
(10:27:28 pm)yellowrockit:8
(10:27:37 pm)SuperHotMale:so you leave at six thirty?
(10:27:53 pm)yellowrockit:730
(10:28:03 pm)SuperHotMale:and you get to burbank in half an hour?
(10:28:34 pm)yellowrockit:yeah. in the morning. its early enough
(10:28:52 pm)SuperHotMale:half an hour to burbank???
(10:29:02 pm)yellowrockit:yup
(10:29:11 pm)SuperHotMale:how do you get there?
(10:29:25 pm)yellowrockit:405 to the 101 to the 134
(10:29:29 pm)yellowrockit:its reverse traffic
(10:29:36 pm)SuperHotMale:wow.
(10:29:44 pm)SuperHotMale:so why did you drive through bh today?
(10:29:53 pm)SuperHotMale:maybe i should work in burbank
(10:29:57 pm)yellowrockit:i was coming back from breakfast and stupidly took santa monica
(10:30:07 pm)SuperHotMale:estupid
(10:30:19 pm)SuperHotMale:where did you break your fast?
(10:30:29 pm)yellowrockit:home in los feliz
(10:30:36 pm)SuperHotMale:tell your sister i gots the love, the love that's gonna last
(10:30:43 pm)SuperHotMale:which home? whose home?
(10:31:07 pm)yellowrockit:Home on Hillhurst
(10:31:19 pm)SuperHotMale:WHOSE HOME?
(10:31:25 pm)SuperHotMale:its like pulling teeth with you
(10:31:34 pm)yellowrockit:the place is called HOME.
(10:31:36 pm)SuperHotMale:you want me to beat you with a cane or something
(10:31:52 pm)yellowrockit:You may cane your chinese slave, but not me. Its not my fault you can't read punctuation.
(10:32:15 pm)SuperHotMale:where the FAQ did you punctuate?
(10:32:30 pm)yellowrockit:I said home in los feliz. t
(10:32:37 pm)yellowrockit:then you said, whose home.
(10:32:44 pm)yellowrockit:then I said, Home in Los Feliz
(10:33:31 pm)SuperHotMale:NO
(10:33:38 pm)SuperHotMale:you said Home on Hillhurst
(10:34:12 pm)SuperHotMale:so why have the breakfast there? ah, you are wierd personas who feel beetrr on the east side since you thin you are hp and are hip esters
(10:34:44 pm)yellowrockit:Yeah. Thats it. I'mjust a big fat hipster.
(10:34:47 pm)SuperHotMale:http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/sha/2164198935.html
(10:34:56 pm)yellowrockit:Thats why I can't stand these west side townies
(10:34:59 pm)SuperHotMale:freakin christopher hoang
(10:35:02 pm)SuperHotMale:thats what it is
(10:35:11 pm)SuperHotMale:so tired
(10:35:22 pm)SuperHotMale:what's your name ?
(10:35:36 pm)yellowrockit:Is that your chinese slave?
(10:35:49 pm)SuperHotMale:HAH he will be if he moves in!
(10:36:04 pm)SuperHotMale:due to money problems i am going to rent out my spare room
(10:36:13 pm)SuperHotMale:also, having a servant would be nice
(10:36:34 pm)yellowrockit:I don't even know what we're talking about anymore
(10:36:42 pm)SuperHotMale:your NAME
(10:36:52 pm)SuperHotMale:HEY, is your handle "yellow" since you are asiatic?
(10:37:27 pm)yellowrockit:yeah it actually is.
(10:37:43 pm)SuperHotMale:Lots of Asiatics in 90024
(10:37:56 pm)SuperHotMale:in san fran there is a lot more!
(10:38:01 pm)SuperHotMale:where did you grow up?
(10:38:35 pm)SuperHotMale:i am also putting up an ad
(10:38:37 pm)SuperHotMale:http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/sha/2163832015.html
(10:39:50 pm)yellowrockit:University of Caucasians Lost amongst Asians.
(10:40:02 pm)yellowrockit:Where did you grow up?
(10:40:10 pm)yellowrockit:Where did you go to school?
(10:44:04 pm)SuperHotMale:you do not answer
(10:44:09 pm)SuperHotMale:calovita viniger
(10:44:12 pm)SuperHotMale:organic greens
(10:44:19 pm)SuperHotMale:last tomato. come. bring tomato
(10:44:51 pm)SuperHotMale:feta cheese
(10:46:55 pm)SuperHotMale:http://www.amazon.com/Colavita-Balsamic-Vinegar-Modena-Years/dp/B002EWTRM4
I know its a lot of bullshit, but basically, he was really fixated on my Asian-ness, and he kept asking me to bring him Persian food. I played along, making jokes about how he has a Chinese slave, and all. I don't understand why he started talking about feta cheese all of a sudden, but by then I had signed off.
Today, he messages me again:
Me: Oh hi. I saw your magazine by the way. You're not that cute.
(He kept insisting that he is on this months Flaunt magazine, and even though I hadn't seen it, I wanted to undermine his confidence and let him know he is not that cute.) So we jumped into a chat...
Him: Jan. 21, 2011 – 11:13am I'm also not that fat.
Him: Jan. 21, 2011 – 11:13am If you want cute, go get a puppy. But I know the far Orientals eat those, so they might give you a funny look at the place you would get a puppy.
Jan. 21, 2011 – 11:17am Yup.
(So, the chat started...)
Today – 11:21am
(11:21:20 am)SuperHotMale:so they pay you monies to sit there and be on okc?
(11:21:21 am)yellowrockit:and by the way, i'm very superficial.
(11:21:25 am)SuperHotMale:So you are the korean?
(11:21:35 am)SuperHotMale:if you are very superficial, maybe you should join a gym
(11:21:42 am)yellowrockit:God. I don't want to chat i fyou're going to type like that.
(11:21:49 am)SuperHotMale:do you speak the korean?
(11:21:57 am)yellowrockit:And what I was saying is, I am shallow, so being cute is very important to me.
(11:22:17 am)SuperHotMale:i forgot your name, but i am on a magazine cover
(11:22:20 am)SuperHotMale:and you are korean.
(11:22:28 am)SuperHotMale:and way the faq out of shapes.
(11:22:38 am)SuperHotMale:now, if you speak korean, we should go to this korean restarant
(11:22:46 am)SuperHotMale:that i used to get my veggie oil from
(11:22:52 am)SuperHotMale:but they dont espeak the english
(11:22:57 am)SuperHotMale:so you can translate
(11:23:06 am)yellowrockit:since you're on the cover of a magazine, you can probably find some other oriental to take you.
(11:23:08 am)SuperHotMale:and maybe i ll get you some hot wings (that way we know its not dog)
(11:23:46 am)yellowrockit:why don't you send me your fb link so i can assess whether or not I want to do any translating.
(11:23:52 am)SuperHotMale:keep in mind, o dont normally offer people foods
(11:24:02 am)SuperHotMale:do i LOOK like i have a fb?
(11:24:07 am)SuperHotMale:you are lucky i have this things
(11:24:28 am)SuperHotMale:SO, since you saw me on the cover
(11:24:37 am)SuperHotMale:i am estanding next to two of my jap homies
(his liberal use of the word oriental and jap was just to annoy me. I know the type. They say stuff that they know is really offensive to get a rise out of me. It used to bother me, and now it really doesn't. It was his weird backwards way of talking that really annoyed me.)
(11:24:56 am)yellowrockit:ok. sorry buddy. i'm not going to chat with you if you keep up with the weird grammar/syntax.
(11:25:00 am)SuperHotMale:another one of my jap homies was there. the two japs say to one another, hey, you know that guy, he looks like our friend
(jap, jap, jap, jap, jap. I don't care what the fuck you call me.)
(11:25:18 am)SuperHotMale:i said, yes. of course he does. all you orientals look the same!
(11:25:38 am)yellowrockit:yup. just like all white people look the same.
(11:25:40 am)SuperHotMale:maybe you are prettier in person
(11:25:43 am)SuperHotMale:HAHA, NOT
(11:25:50 am)SuperHotMale:HEY, you are having the dog!
(11:26:10 am)yellowrockit:i'm hanging up/signing off. stop putting "the" in front of nouns. its annoying and not endearing.
(11:26:17 am)SuperHotMale:LLLLLLLLLLL
(11:26:21 am)SuperHotMale:hahahha
(11:26:31 am)yellowrockit:i get you're trying to get a rise out of me by over using the word "oriental", but the broken ass english is not ok.
(11:26:37 am)SuperHotMale:so, you drink the beer, you are out of shape, AND you have inferior eyesight
(DANG. He noticed.)
(11:26:47 am)SuperHotMale:LOOK
(11:26:56 am)SuperHotMale:i have spent about 18 hours of my life watching this guy
(11:27:15 am)SuperHotMale:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K-wEUCCvE0
(11:27:42 am)yellowrockit:Well. You are lucky.
(11:28:05 am)SuperHotMale:so this is your JOB?
(11:28:11 am)SuperHotMale:you go on the line and you type?
(11:28:19 am)yellowrockit:goodbye. i told you about that shit.
(11:28:20 am)SuperHotMale:in the stead of doing the works?
(11:28:48 am)SuperHotMale:what if i am the foreigner?
(11:28:53 am)SuperHotMale:i am not of your country
(11:40:35 am)yellowrockit:I can not pretend to be patient with people who can not communicate effectively.
(11:41:19 am)yellowrockit:BUT, since you sit there and try to insult me by saying racist things and comment on my appearance with such vigor, I know you are not a foreigner.
(11:41:34 am)SuperHotMale:no, i no insult.
(11:42:08 am)SuperHotMale:but you will have a bad time in the koreantown if you dont have patientce with peoples who cannot communicate effectively. like my korean restaurant owners
(11:42:15 am)SuperHotMale:although i feel your frustrations
(11:42:22 am)SuperHotMale:cuz i had to communicate with them
(11:42:28 am)SuperHotMale:i even got a book on korean
(11:42:37 am)yellowrockit:My guess is you're some asshole who reeks of axe body spray and at one point in time owned something by Ed Hardy.
(Umm. This is where I lost my patience. I am aware its my own fault for engaging. But a part of me thought he'd laugh this insult off as well. I'm sitting here let him call me Oriental and use words like "jap". And really, for the record, it doesn't bother me. I mean, is it an outdated word, yes. Is it totally inaccurate? yes. What bothers me about the whole situation is that he thinks hes going to rile me up and really piss me off by using the word. I've been Asian a long time, and a surprising amount of people will do this.)
(11:43:03 am)yellowrockit:I'll bet you're just really into Asian chicks, but think you're not so you overuse the word "oriental" to get a rise out of people.
(I just said this cause I knew it would piss him off)
(11:43:41 am)SuperHotMale:you have more issues than i thought. stop typing to me.
This is where it gets good, his last message to me. I mean, honestly, now I just want to marry him for calling me a sick trick. He definitely loses points for misspelling "vagina", but I got the gist, so its not a big deal.
Jan. 21, 2011 – 2:57pm Yes, I am sure you will blog, since you dont have a life. I didnt type to you to get in your estinky kimchi/dogshit esmelling vaginea. IF you were literate, youwould know, i am here for friends. But your psychiatric issues, along with your ugliness dont allow you to understand that. Oh, and join a gym.
And I generally dont go out with far Orientals, as a side note.
Now you are block ed. Dogs dont belong in apartments, you sick trick.
Sick Trick. God. I want to change my profile name to that.
Monday night, I got an OK Cupid IM from someone with the screen name: Superhotmale....
and another picture...
(Yes. He looks like a corpse...like some sort of Weekend at Bernies type of deal)
Now you guys. I want you to be aware that it is entirely my fault for engaging in this conversation. But what do you want me to say, I was bored, and I've been desperate to have something else to blog about. At first I didn't think this would get any weirder than it already was, but then this week got rull good.
Here is some of our first chat on Monday night.
9:39:31 pm)SuperHotMale:New York IS the east!
(9:40:08 pm)SuperHotMale:i asked you a question that ended in "English"
(9:40:13 pm)SuperHotMale:you are esmart
(9:40:15 pm)SuperHotMale:i like.
(9:40:29 pm)SuperHotMale:ethnocentric is the only correct reason
(9:40:31 pm)SuperHotMale:but
(9:40:39 pm)SuperHotMale:we espeak the English
(9:43:29 pm)yellowrockit:Wow. Thats great.
(9:43:36 pm)yellowrockit:I'm honored that you like that I speak English.
(9:43:55 pm)yellowrockit:I also like the irony of your profile name.
(9:44:00 pm)SuperHotMale:HAHAHAHA
(9:44:02 pm)yellowrockit:How was Burning Man last year?
(9:44:05 pm)SuperHotMale:you are funniness
(9:44:22 pm)yellowrockit:I'm sorry. I can't speak to someone who doesn't know how to spell or speak English either.
(9:44:33 pm)SuperHotMale:LLL
(9:44:41 pm)yellowrockit:Sorry buddy. But your profile picture makes you look like Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China. You might want to rethink that beard
(9:45:01 pm)SuperHotMale:i don't watch said movie
(9:45:54 pm)yellowrockit:I have no problem if Engilsh isn't your first language, but right now I don't have the patience for it
(9:46:10 pm)SuperHotMale:patience is a virtue, my black friend
(9:46:41 pm)SuperHotMale:Cali is an island, btw. it pisses me off to
(9:46:56 pm)yellowrockit:too.
(9:47:07 pm)SuperHotMale:that was especial for u
(9:47:19 pm)SuperHotMale:i am a bit l8 right now
(9:48:18 pm)yellowrockit:I have no interest in having to read through your poor grammar and texting shortcuts. Especially since you aren't even cute.
(9:48:33 pm)SuperHotMale:oh, i am more than cute
(9:48:40 pm)SuperHotMale:and, presently, on a magazine cover
(9:48:48 pm)yellowrockit:which one?
(9:48:54 pm)SuperHotMale:why would i tell you?
(9:48:58 pm)SuperHotMale:an expensive one.
(9:49:09 pm)yellowrockit:You're right. Why would you tell me.
(9:49:14 pm)SuperHotMale:opposite some dame
(9:49:25 pm)SuperHotMale:i cann--olivia wilde!
(9:49:37 pm)SuperHotMale:i had to google her, since know not who she was I.
(9:49:44 pm)yellowrockit:Who is that?
(9:49:56 pm)SuperHotMale:yahoo is your friend, yellowcrockit
(9:50:49 pm)yellowrockit:Umm. Yahoo is an old college friend, but my new best friend is google.
(9:51:07 pm)SuperHotMale:no
(9:51:12 pm)SuperHotMale:google is the evil.
(9:51:25 pm)SuperHotMale:although i use it quite a bit
(9:51:39 pm)yellowrockit:The evil? What about the big layoff yahoo just did. I know people who lost their jobs this last month because of yahoo
(9:51:49 pm)SuperHotMale:so?
(9:51:55 pm)SuperHotMale:jobs are meant to be lost
(9:52:11 pm)yellowrockit:So, again, its all about perspective. You think google is evil, and I disagree.
(9:52:14 pm)SuperHotMale:i forgot what google did to piss me off
(9:52:32 pm)SuperHotMale:probably partner with that evil myspace
(9:52:47 pm)yellowrockit:Maybe your overinflated ego wasn't happy with your search results?
(9:52:53 pm)SuperHotMale:HAHAHA
(9:53:00 pm)SuperHotMale:you are the funny
(9:53:14 pm)SuperHotMale:mine ego not so inflated, yerrowlockit
(9:54:12 pm)yellowrockit:Yeah. Your perception isn't that great either.
(9:54:22 pm)SuperHotMale:LLL
(9:54:28 pm)yellowrockit:Note to you, its not such a good idea "talkin' chinesey" with Asian people..
(9:54:36 pm)SuperHotMale:HAHA
(9:54:52 pm)SuperHotMale:its talking Oriental. not all accents are chinese!
(9:54:56 pm)SuperHotMale:sheesh!
(9:54:59 pm)yellowrockit:Welp, I wanna talk about your creepy profile pictures.
(9:55:03 pm)SuperHotMale:hahah
(9:55:08 pm)yellowrockit:I mean, the last one makes you look like a corpse. Really.
(9:55:15 pm)SuperHotMale:how many of them do you see? the main one was reported
(9:55:25 pm)SuperHotMale:so i wonder how mny you can see yerro
(9:55:28 pm)yellowrockit:Was it of your tiny weiner?
(9:55:46 pm)SuperHotMale:no, i have never photograph ed my weiner
(9:55:50 pm)SuperHotMale:and i am not chinese.
(9:56:20 pm)SuperHotMale:you are on the drug?
(9:56:24 pm)yellowrockit:Are you sure?I'm pretty sure you're Chinese.
(9:56:31 pm)SuperHotMale:Nope.
(9:56:41 pm)yellowrockit:I like that you keep looking at my profile too. Are you trying to find things to pick apart about it?
(9:56:42 pm)SuperHotMale:I dont even eat much chinese foods.
(9:56:49 pm)SuperHotMale:But I have a friend who is chinese
(9:56:56 pm)SuperHotMale:i mean, i know many chinese
(9:57:02 pm)yellowrockit:I'm sure you do.
(9:57:06 pm)SuperHotMale:i even had a chinese live with me
(9:57:14 pm)SuperHotMale:temporarily
(9:57:23 pm)yellowrockit:Was she your servant?
(9:57:27 pm)SuperHotMale:best person i ever lived with!
(9:57:30 pm)SuperHotMale:no
(9:57:38 pm)yellowrockit:Are you sure?
(9:57:45 pm)SuperHotMale:pretty sure.
(9:57:58 pm)SuperHotMale:what is it you do, lockit?
(9:58:03 pm)yellowrockit:Well, I don't believe you.
(9:58:09 pm)SuperHotMale:hmm.
(9:58:20 pm)SuperHotMale:you don't have to be chinese to be myservant
(9:58:27 pm)yellowrockit:What is it YOU do Lo Pan?
(9:58:30 pm)SuperHotMale:wow , that is going to be the name of my next song!
(9:58:33 pm)SuperHotMale:LLL
(9:58:43 pm)SuperHotMale:i dont even know anymore, socket
(9:59:04 pm)SuperHotMale:right now i am trying to bask in my 3 seconds of fame on a magazine cover
(9:59:06 pm)yellowrockit:OH god. You're in a band.
(9:59:12 pm)yellowrockit:You're THAT guy.
(9:59:17 pm)SuperHotMale:then, i should find someone to marry . and love er
(9:59:22 pm)SuperHotMale:no, not that guy
(9:59:36 pm)SuperHotMale:by educations, i am an engineer, my dear
(9:59:42 pm)SuperHotMale:like many orientals
(9:59:47 pm)yellowrockit:Well, I'm here to tell you, enjoy it. I mean, its not show friend, its who business.
(10:00:08 pm)SuperHotMale:the world is like this.
(10:00:13 pm)SuperHotMale:so i want to die
(10:00:17 pm)SuperHotMale:Sepuku, if you will
(10:00:23 pm)SuperHotMale:Will you be my second?
(10:00:27 pm)yellowrockit:I don't know what that is.
(10:00:32 pm)SuperHotMale:I dont trust you enough to be
(10:00:38 pm)SuperHotMale:It is a Jap word.
(10:00:43 pm)SuperHotMale:hghfh
(10:00:49 pm)yellowrockit:Ahhh. Jap words. Wonderful.
(10:01:02 pm)SuperHotMale:quite honorable
(10:01:12 pm)SuperHotMale:you do not espeak any other languages?
(10:01:14 pm)yellowrockit:I mean, are you really mad that I dont' have jacked teeth and can speak English?
(10:01:22 pm)SuperHotMale:u will enjoy:
(10:01:29 pm)SuperHotMale:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJh1i4la6Pg&feature=related
(10:01:37 pm)SuperHotMale:HAHAHAHAH you are most funninesses
(10:01:45 pm)SuperHotMale:i love your English skills
(10:01:56 pm)yellowrockit:So, whats your shitty band's name?
(10:02:01 pm)SuperHotMale:LLLLLLLLLLL
(10:02:06 pm)SuperHotMale:My Shitty Band
(10:02:16 pm)SuperHotMale:Google that shit!
(10:02:18 pm)yellowrockit:Oh yeah. I've definitely heard of you.
(10:02:21 pm)SuperHotMale:that's the name of the album
(10:02:34 pm)SuperHotMale:I ve definitely heard of you is going to be a track on it
(10:02:42 pm)SuperHotMale:you didnt tell me what you do
(10:03:00 pm)yellowrockit:OK. So if youre just some creepy looking engineer, why are you on the cover of a magazine with some actress I've never heard of?
(10:03:03 pm)yellowrockit:I'm a paralegal
(10:03:12 pm)SuperHotMale:i too, am a paralegal
(10:03:24 pm)SuperHotMale:but i only have one case right now
(10:03:27 pm)SuperHotMale:which i finished
(10:03:33 pm)SuperHotMale:so this week cometh the check
(10:03:41 pm)yellowrockit:Is it the case of annoying me?
(10:03:45 pm)SuperHotMale:HAHAH
(10:03:58 pm)SuperHotMale:why you do not come with me and estudy for the bar?
(10:04:17 pm)SuperHotMale:you are esmart. i like. what is the zip code of where you work?
(10:04:34 pm)yellowrockit:Ugh. I have no interest in becoming an attorney.
(10:04:56 pm)SuperHotMale:i talked to one today. very esleazy
(10:04:59 pm)SuperHotMale:but you can be a good one
(10:05:07 pm)SuperHotMale:together, we can unite!
(10:05:20 pm)SuperHotMale:We can unite the Orient and the Occident
(10:05:25 pm)SuperHotMale:NY and cali
(10:05:26 pm)SuperHotMale:fornia
(10:05:36 pm)yellowrockit:Nope. And besides, didn't you read that article in the paper about the law school trap?
(10:05:41 pm)SuperHotMale:idiots who dont know cali is an island!
(10:05:59 pm)SuperHotMale:i dont read the paper much, but i got friday's la times, i think
(10:06:12 pm)SuperHotMale:what trap?
(10:06:32 pm)SuperHotMale:a lot of attorneys, to pay for law school, would dance on one's lap
(10:06:38 pm)SuperHotMale:whores that they are
(10:06:46 pm)SuperHotMale:a lot of them work ed for heidi fleish
(10:07:37 pm)yellowrockit:This conversation is tedious and your weird yoda-esque way of speaking is getting on my nerves.
(10:07:54 pm)yellowrockit:I like the idea of me the occident, and you the orient becoming some sort of crime fighting team though.
(10:07:55 pm)SuperHotMale:thank you for the yoda esque
(10:08:03 pm)yellowrockit:that should be a funny or die skit.
(10:08:05 pm)SuperHotMale:UNITE!
(10:08:09 pm)SuperHotMale:LLLLLL
(10:08:15 pm)SuperHotMale:we must eskit together.
(10:08:25 pm)SuperHotMale:you didnt tell me the zip code
(10:08:39 pm)yellowrockit:I work in burbank.
(10:08:41 pm)yellowrockit:I'm temping right now
(10:08:57 pm)SuperHotMale:what agency do you go through to temp?
(10:09:10 pm)yellowrockit:Kelly law
(10:09:34 pm)SuperHotMale:do you know Barrington Kemp
(10:09:37 pm)SuperHotMale:?
(10:09:42 pm)SuperHotMale:What is your zip code?
(10:09:42 pm)yellowrockit:no
(10:09:49 pm)yellowrockit:90024
(10:09:58 pm)SuperHotMale:WOW
(10:10:01 pm)SuperHotMale:bruin?
(10:10:16 pm)yellowrockit:God no
(10:10:21 pm)SuperHotMale:wtf?
(10:10:27 pm)SuperHotMale:where you went to the eskools?
(10:10:29 pm)yellowrockit:I live with my sister, we're moving soon.
(10:10:40 pm)SuperHotMale:moving where?
(10:10:47 pm)yellowrockit:Over to the east side.
(10:10:56 pm)yellowrockit:Everyone west of La Brea has some sort of mental defect.
(10:10:56 pm)SuperHotMale:yes. you seem crazy like that.
(10:11:15 pm)SuperHotMale:not everyone. and the defective ones are mainly east of la brea
(10:11:25 pm)SuperHotMale:how long have you lived in 90024?
(10:11:55 pm)yellowrockit:No. Literally. It took me half an hour to drive through beverly hills today because I mean..there is something WRONG with those people today.
(10:12:11 pm)SuperHotMale:maybe they are asiatic drivers
(10:12:23 pm)SuperHotMale:you dont tell me where you went to school
(10:12:32 pm)SuperHotMale:and you should take the bus
(10:12:36 pm)SuperHotMale:or a motorcycle
(10:12:46 pm)SuperHotMale:because WHO lives in 90024 and works in burbank?
(10:12:51 pm)yellowrockit:I went to school in a different city.
(10:12:57 pm)yellowrockit:I told your crusty ass. I'm moving soon.
(10:12:59 pm)SuperHotMale:Quizas you should come here, and you i should spank
(10:13:04 pm)SuperHotMale:my ass is not crusty
(10:13:15 pm)SuperHotMale:what city? name of school?
(10:13:23 pm)yellowrockit:I need to get the fuck off this side. Nothing but idiots.
(10:13:36 pm)yellowrockit:I went to San Francisco State
(10:13:38 pm)SuperHotMale:i have similar feelings
(10:13:43 pm)SuperHotMale:but i like you
(10:13:47 pm)SuperHotMale:despite your problems
(10:13:52 pm)SuperHotMale:and insulting my ass
(10:13:56 pm)SuperHotMale:you should apologize
(10:14:10 pm)yellowrockit:You should apologize for making me look at your creepy ass pictures
(10:14:40 pm)SuperHotMale:NO
(10:14:45 pm)SuperHotMale:you did not have to
(10:14:56 pm)SuperHotMale:where is your sister now?
(10:15:05 pm)yellowrockit:out
(10:15:12 pm)SuperHotMale:out where?
(10:15:15 pm)SuperHotMale:with whom?
(10:15:17 pm)SuperHotMale:doing what?
(10:15:24 pm)SuperHotMale:is she eskinnier than you?
(10:15:28 pm)SuperHotMale:what does she do?
(10:15:34 pm)SuperHotMale:she also went to sf state?
(10:15:34 pm)yellowrockit:yeah. She is. she's a lot skinnier than me.
(10:15:51 pm)SuperHotMale:do you feel its better to love, or to hate?
(10:16:17 pm)yellowrockit:I'm not going to answer that stupid question.
(10:16:20 pm)SuperHotMale:i asked you six questions and you answered one. every one i meet
(10:16:23 pm)SuperHotMale:"meet"
(10:16:30 pm)SuperHotMale:here has some psychiatric issue
(10:16:38 pm)yellowrockit:I know. I feel the same way.
(10:16:40 pm)SuperHotMale:L and that question is not estupid!
(10:16:49 pm)SuperHotMale:maybe you should get helps
(10:17:00 pm)SuperHotMale:Bring me Persian foods from Westwood
(10:17:05 pm)yellowrockit:No.
(10:17:13 pm)SuperHotMale:my very good chinese friend gave me his jasmine tea
(10:17:19 pm)yellowrockit:your slave?
(10:17:26 pm)SuperHotMale:cost him 40 fifty dollars in the china
(10:17:30 pm)SuperHotMale:LL
(10:17:32 pm)SuperHotMale:no
(10:17:33 pm)yellowrockit:so why are you on a magazine cover?
(10:17:42 pm)SuperHotMale:i was told "you are perfect"
(10:17:49 pm)SuperHotMale:more than once, actually
(10:17:56 pm)SuperHotMale:at least once in email, female.
(10:18:05 pm)yellowrockit:So which magazine is it?
(10:18:10 pm)SuperHotMale:when you answer questions, we can go on
(10:18:18 pm)SuperHotMale:i asked 7 questions now, yo uanswerwed ONE
(10:18:19 pm)yellowrockit:no. frack that.
(10:18:23 pm)SuperHotMale:also, give me her email
(10:18:28 pm)yellowrockit:I'm answering all your questions, and you ain't answering none.
(10:18:28 pm)SuperHotMale:and her number.
(10:18:31 pm)yellowrockit:give you who's email?
(10:18:36 pm)SuperHotMale:sister.
(10:18:48 pm)yellowrockit:God. She's terrified of Lo Pan.
(10:18:57 pm)SuperHotMale:i also have a moving company, so, if you need movers, let me know
(10:19:07 pm)SuperHotMale:i do not know this lo pan
(10:19:11 pm)yellowrockit:God. You're that guy.
(10:19:19 pm)SuperHotMale:LL
(10:19:19 pm)yellowrockit:Google that shit son. You're a creeper on your profile.
(10:19:28 pm)SuperHotMale:you are trying too hard
(10:19:37 pm)yellowrockit:Yup. I'm the one trying too hard.
(10:19:40 pm)SuperHotMale:dont cal me son
(10:20:17 pm)yellowrockit:Sorry lo pan
(10:20:46 pm)SuperHotMale:why you do not bring me persian foods from westwood?
(10:20:59 pm)yellowrockit:I thought you were getting your chinese slave to do it.
(10:21:31 pm)SuperHotMale:no. you. come. i shall give you tea. or alcohol, since i think that is your preference.
(10:22:09 pm)yellowrockit:Nope. I'm as dry as a bone
(10:22:22 pm)SuperHotMale:give yourself to your dog you do
(10:22:38 pm)yellowrockit:what?
(10:22:52 pm)SuperHotMale:if you bring foods, we can chat easier
(10:23:28 pm)yellowrockit:Ugh. No way. I can tolerate this terrible conversation over chat, but having to hear your creepy face speaking like Yoda would be too much.
(10:23:59 pm)SuperHotMale:You do not know this. I am better once i eat the persian foods from westwood
(10:24:11 pm)SuperHotMale:i will take a bike ride soon
(10:24:15 pm)SuperHotMale:care to join?
(10:24:47 pm)yellowrockit:No.
(10:24:59 pm)SuperHotMale:you can work off some calories. come.
(10:25:05 pm)yellowrockit:I don't have a bike.
(10:25:06 pm)SuperHotMale:i can make you a salad
(10:25:10 pm)SuperHotMale:i have more than one
(10:25:14 pm)yellowrockit:And besides, I already went on my run for today. My knees are shot.
(10:25:37 pm)SuperHotMale:when you are overwieght, you should not run. bike, or swim
(10:25:50 pm)yellowrockit:WElp. I guess that means all I can do is gain weight.
(10:25:57 pm)SuperHotMale:it puts much pressures on your knees
(10:26:10 pm)SuperHotMale:no. eat right. exercise. is very good.
(10:26:11 pm)yellowrockit:YEah. Thats it. I'm just so fat its blowing out my knees.
(10:26:13 pm)yellowrockit:You got it.
(10:27:13 pm)SuperHotMale:what time do you work tomorrow?
(10:27:28 pm)yellowrockit:8
(10:27:37 pm)SuperHotMale:so you leave at six thirty?
(10:27:53 pm)yellowrockit:730
(10:28:03 pm)SuperHotMale:and you get to burbank in half an hour?
(10:28:34 pm)yellowrockit:yeah. in the morning. its early enough
(10:28:52 pm)SuperHotMale:half an hour to burbank???
(10:29:02 pm)yellowrockit:yup
(10:29:11 pm)SuperHotMale:how do you get there?
(10:29:25 pm)yellowrockit:405 to the 101 to the 134
(10:29:29 pm)yellowrockit:its reverse traffic
(10:29:36 pm)SuperHotMale:wow.
(10:29:44 pm)SuperHotMale:so why did you drive through bh today?
(10:29:53 pm)SuperHotMale:maybe i should work in burbank
(10:29:57 pm)yellowrockit:i was coming back from breakfast and stupidly took santa monica
(10:30:07 pm)SuperHotMale:estupid
(10:30:19 pm)SuperHotMale:where did you break your fast?
(10:30:29 pm)yellowrockit:home in los feliz
(10:30:36 pm)SuperHotMale:tell your sister i gots the love, the love that's gonna last
(10:30:43 pm)SuperHotMale:which home? whose home?
(10:31:07 pm)yellowrockit:Home on Hillhurst
(10:31:19 pm)SuperHotMale:WHOSE HOME?
(10:31:25 pm)SuperHotMale:its like pulling teeth with you
(10:31:34 pm)yellowrockit:the place is called HOME.
(10:31:36 pm)SuperHotMale:you want me to beat you with a cane or something
(10:31:52 pm)yellowrockit:You may cane your chinese slave, but not me. Its not my fault you can't read punctuation.
(10:32:15 pm)SuperHotMale:where the FAQ did you punctuate?
(10:32:30 pm)yellowrockit:I said home in los feliz. t
(10:32:37 pm)yellowrockit:then you said, whose home.
(10:32:44 pm)yellowrockit:then I said, Home in Los Feliz
(10:33:31 pm)SuperHotMale:NO
(10:33:38 pm)SuperHotMale:you said Home on Hillhurst
(10:34:12 pm)SuperHotMale:so why have the breakfast there? ah, you are wierd personas who feel beetrr on the east side since you thin you are hp and are hip esters
(10:34:44 pm)yellowrockit:Yeah. Thats it. I'mjust a big fat hipster.
(10:34:47 pm)SuperHotMale:http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/sha/2164198935.html
(10:34:56 pm)yellowrockit:Thats why I can't stand these west side townies
(10:34:59 pm)SuperHotMale:freakin christopher hoang
(10:35:02 pm)SuperHotMale:thats what it is
(10:35:11 pm)SuperHotMale:so tired
(10:35:22 pm)SuperHotMale:what's your name ?
(10:35:36 pm)yellowrockit:Is that your chinese slave?
(10:35:49 pm)SuperHotMale:HAH he will be if he moves in!
(10:36:04 pm)SuperHotMale:due to money problems i am going to rent out my spare room
(10:36:13 pm)SuperHotMale:also, having a servant would be nice
(10:36:34 pm)yellowrockit:I don't even know what we're talking about anymore
(10:36:42 pm)SuperHotMale:your NAME
(10:36:52 pm)SuperHotMale:HEY, is your handle "yellow" since you are asiatic?
(10:37:27 pm)yellowrockit:yeah it actually is.
(10:37:43 pm)SuperHotMale:Lots of Asiatics in 90024
(10:37:56 pm)SuperHotMale:in san fran there is a lot more!
(10:38:01 pm)SuperHotMale:where did you grow up?
(10:38:35 pm)SuperHotMale:i am also putting up an ad
(10:38:37 pm)SuperHotMale:http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/sha/2163832015.html
(10:39:50 pm)yellowrockit:University of Caucasians Lost amongst Asians.
(10:40:02 pm)yellowrockit:Where did you grow up?
(10:40:10 pm)yellowrockit:Where did you go to school?
(10:44:04 pm)SuperHotMale:you do not answer
(10:44:09 pm)SuperHotMale:calovita viniger
(10:44:12 pm)SuperHotMale:organic greens
(10:44:19 pm)SuperHotMale:last tomato. come. bring tomato
(10:44:51 pm)SuperHotMale:feta cheese
(10:46:55 pm)SuperHotMale:http://www.amazon.com/Colavita-Balsamic-Vinegar-Modena-Years/dp/B002EWTRM4
I know its a lot of bullshit, but basically, he was really fixated on my Asian-ness, and he kept asking me to bring him Persian food. I played along, making jokes about how he has a Chinese slave, and all. I don't understand why he started talking about feta cheese all of a sudden, but by then I had signed off.
Today, he messages me again:
Me: Oh hi. I saw your magazine by the way. You're not that cute.
(He kept insisting that he is on this months Flaunt magazine, and even though I hadn't seen it, I wanted to undermine his confidence and let him know he is not that cute.) So we jumped into a chat...
Him: Jan. 21, 2011 – 11:13am I'm also not that fat.
Him: Jan. 21, 2011 – 11:13am If you want cute, go get a puppy. But I know the far Orientals eat those, so they might give you a funny look at the place you would get a puppy.
Jan. 21, 2011 – 11:17am Yup.
(So, the chat started...)
Today – 11:21am
(11:21:20 am)SuperHotMale:so they pay you monies to sit there and be on okc?
(11:21:21 am)yellowrockit:and by the way, i'm very superficial.
(11:21:25 am)SuperHotMale:So you are the korean?
(11:21:35 am)SuperHotMale:if you are very superficial, maybe you should join a gym
(11:21:42 am)yellowrockit:God. I don't want to chat i fyou're going to type like that.
(11:21:49 am)SuperHotMale:do you speak the korean?
(11:21:57 am)yellowrockit:And what I was saying is, I am shallow, so being cute is very important to me.
(11:22:17 am)SuperHotMale:i forgot your name, but i am on a magazine cover
(11:22:20 am)SuperHotMale:and you are korean.
(11:22:28 am)SuperHotMale:and way the faq out of shapes.
(11:22:38 am)SuperHotMale:now, if you speak korean, we should go to this korean restarant
(11:22:46 am)SuperHotMale:that i used to get my veggie oil from
(11:22:52 am)SuperHotMale:but they dont espeak the english
(11:22:57 am)SuperHotMale:so you can translate
(11:23:06 am)yellowrockit:since you're on the cover of a magazine, you can probably find some other oriental to take you.
(11:23:08 am)SuperHotMale:and maybe i ll get you some hot wings (that way we know its not dog)
(11:23:46 am)yellowrockit:why don't you send me your fb link so i can assess whether or not I want to do any translating.
(11:23:52 am)SuperHotMale:keep in mind, o dont normally offer people foods
(11:24:02 am)SuperHotMale:do i LOOK like i have a fb?
(11:24:07 am)SuperHotMale:you are lucky i have this things
(11:24:28 am)SuperHotMale:SO, since you saw me on the cover
(11:24:37 am)SuperHotMale:i am estanding next to two of my jap homies
(his liberal use of the word oriental and jap was just to annoy me. I know the type. They say stuff that they know is really offensive to get a rise out of me. It used to bother me, and now it really doesn't. It was his weird backwards way of talking that really annoyed me.)
(11:24:56 am)yellowrockit:ok. sorry buddy. i'm not going to chat with you if you keep up with the weird grammar/syntax.
(11:25:00 am)SuperHotMale:another one of my jap homies was there. the two japs say to one another, hey, you know that guy, he looks like our friend
(jap, jap, jap, jap, jap. I don't care what the fuck you call me.)
(11:25:18 am)SuperHotMale:i said, yes. of course he does. all you orientals look the same!
(11:25:38 am)yellowrockit:yup. just like all white people look the same.
(11:25:40 am)SuperHotMale:maybe you are prettier in person
(11:25:43 am)SuperHotMale:HAHA, NOT
(11:25:50 am)SuperHotMale:HEY, you are having the dog!
(11:26:10 am)yellowrockit:i'm hanging up/signing off. stop putting "the" in front of nouns. its annoying and not endearing.
(11:26:17 am)SuperHotMale:LLLLLLLLLLL
(11:26:21 am)SuperHotMale:hahahha
(11:26:31 am)yellowrockit:i get you're trying to get a rise out of me by over using the word "oriental", but the broken ass english is not ok.
(11:26:37 am)SuperHotMale:so, you drink the beer, you are out of shape, AND you have inferior eyesight
(DANG. He noticed.)
(11:26:47 am)SuperHotMale:LOOK
(11:26:56 am)SuperHotMale:i have spent about 18 hours of my life watching this guy
(11:27:15 am)SuperHotMale:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K-wEUCCvE0
(11:27:42 am)yellowrockit:Well. You are lucky.
(11:28:05 am)SuperHotMale:so this is your JOB?
(11:28:11 am)SuperHotMale:you go on the line and you type?
(11:28:19 am)yellowrockit:goodbye. i told you about that shit.
(11:28:20 am)SuperHotMale:in the stead of doing the works?
(11:28:48 am)SuperHotMale:what if i am the foreigner?
(11:28:53 am)SuperHotMale:i am not of your country
(11:40:35 am)yellowrockit:I can not pretend to be patient with people who can not communicate effectively.
(11:41:19 am)yellowrockit:BUT, since you sit there and try to insult me by saying racist things and comment on my appearance with such vigor, I know you are not a foreigner.
(11:41:34 am)SuperHotMale:no, i no insult.
(11:42:08 am)SuperHotMale:but you will have a bad time in the koreantown if you dont have patientce with peoples who cannot communicate effectively. like my korean restaurant owners
(11:42:15 am)SuperHotMale:although i feel your frustrations
(11:42:22 am)SuperHotMale:cuz i had to communicate with them
(11:42:28 am)SuperHotMale:i even got a book on korean
(11:42:37 am)yellowrockit:My guess is you're some asshole who reeks of axe body spray and at one point in time owned something by Ed Hardy.
(Umm. This is where I lost my patience. I am aware its my own fault for engaging. But a part of me thought he'd laugh this insult off as well. I'm sitting here let him call me Oriental and use words like "jap". And really, for the record, it doesn't bother me. I mean, is it an outdated word, yes. Is it totally inaccurate? yes. What bothers me about the whole situation is that he thinks hes going to rile me up and really piss me off by using the word. I've been Asian a long time, and a surprising amount of people will do this.)
(11:43:03 am)yellowrockit:I'll bet you're just really into Asian chicks, but think you're not so you overuse the word "oriental" to get a rise out of people.
(I just said this cause I knew it would piss him off)
(11:43:41 am)SuperHotMale:you have more issues than i thought. stop typing to me.
This is where it gets good, his last message to me. I mean, honestly, now I just want to marry him for calling me a sick trick. He definitely loses points for misspelling "vagina", but I got the gist, so its not a big deal.
Jan. 21, 2011 – 2:57pm Yes, I am sure you will blog, since you dont have a life. I didnt type to you to get in your estinky kimchi/dogshit esmelling vaginea. IF you were literate, youwould know, i am here for friends. But your psychiatric issues, along with your ugliness dont allow you to understand that. Oh, and join a gym.
And I generally dont go out with far Orientals, as a side note.
Now you are block ed. Dogs dont belong in apartments, you sick trick.
Sick Trick. God. I want to change my profile name to that.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Gross and grosser
One of the things I hate about online dating, is the influx of guys who have a) really sleazy profile names, or b) send you sexually suggestive messages/winks/pictures.
Guess what guy, I'm not interested in your floppy weiner, or am I going to tell you what I like to do in the bedroom.
Does that work? Do these guys just troll for ladies to harrass and that 1 time out of 100, some woman will be like, "Wow. He has his top off. I'm totally into that."?
Gross. The past few weeks 2 of these turds have messaged me.
The first was this little gem: LilCowboy69.
Wow. Really. Your profile name has the numbers 6 and 9 in them? Thats great that you're 10 and those are the first 2 numbers you thought up to make your profile name unique. His message to me, at 2 in the morning, by the way consisted of this:
Wink
Jan. 12, 2011 – 2:22am looks up U Rock!! do you mind guys shorter then yourself?
I didn't and still don't really understand what "looks up u rock" means, so in a fit of grumpiness I responded:
I guess it depends on how cute they are. And if they use the letter "u" instead of the word "you"
I know, I'm a total jerk. Thats why it took all of my strength to not blow "funoncam"'s chest hair back when he messaged me last night:
Wink
Jan. 18, 2011 – 11:45pm don't be shy. I'm not... ;)
The real asshole in me wanted to respond, "Yes. I'll show you my chest too. Its just as chubby but not nearly as hairy", or tell him I'm a pre-op transsexual, and ask if he has a problem with that. He strikes me as the type that would.
Secondly, I hate emoticons. I mean, I understand sometimes you want to send one cause its hard to read the tone of someones text/email...but really. Don't "wink" at someone on an online dating profile and then wink in an emoticon.
Thirdly..and this is my biggest issue. If you're going to have your profile picture be of you without a shirt on...at least make sure your body is awesome.
Just sayin' guys..
Guess what guy, I'm not interested in your floppy weiner, or am I going to tell you what I like to do in the bedroom.
Does that work? Do these guys just troll for ladies to harrass and that 1 time out of 100, some woman will be like, "Wow. He has his top off. I'm totally into that."?
Gross. The past few weeks 2 of these turds have messaged me.
The first was this little gem: LilCowboy69.
Wow. Really. Your profile name has the numbers 6 and 9 in them? Thats great that you're 10 and those are the first 2 numbers you thought up to make your profile name unique. His message to me, at 2 in the morning, by the way consisted of this:
Wink
Jan. 12, 2011 – 2:22am looks up U Rock!! do you mind guys shorter then yourself?
I didn't and still don't really understand what "looks up u rock" means, so in a fit of grumpiness I responded:
I guess it depends on how cute they are. And if they use the letter "u" instead of the word "you"
I know, I'm a total jerk. Thats why it took all of my strength to not blow "funoncam"'s chest hair back when he messaged me last night:
Wink
Jan. 18, 2011 – 11:45pm don't be shy. I'm not... ;)
The real asshole in me wanted to respond, "Yes. I'll show you my chest too. Its just as chubby but not nearly as hairy", or tell him I'm a pre-op transsexual, and ask if he has a problem with that. He strikes me as the type that would.
Secondly, I hate emoticons. I mean, I understand sometimes you want to send one cause its hard to read the tone of someones text/email...but really. Don't "wink" at someone on an online dating profile and then wink in an emoticon.
Thirdly..and this is my biggest issue. If you're going to have your profile picture be of you without a shirt on...at least make sure your body is awesome.
Just sayin' guys..
Monday, January 10, 2011
12/28/2010
This happened a few weeks ago, but it was so special I'm gonna share it:
The formatting is a little off, so I tried to clean it up a little. In the future I will be including pictures but this guy blocked me, so I can't copy and paste.
Guy: Dec. 26, 2010 – 1:30pm Sup? My profile doesn't really represent me that well so maybe writing you might have been a better idea. Why stand up comedy? Richard Pryor was really good on SNL. I also liked John Leguizamo when I was a kid.
(I wasn't really interested in this guy, and I usually ignore messages of this sort, but I felt bad. Maybe I was feeling sentimental cause of the holidays, or a little too used to the rejection of not getting a response. Either way, I responded a few days later, and decided to make small talk, keep it short, and then you know, let him know it wasn't going to work.)
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 11:17am Pryors a legend of course. He's real good in Superman iii ( my favorite one).
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 12:18pm I only saw The Toy and his skit about taking LSD for the first time. I was ROFLing. Some stand up comics then try doing skits about what they haven't experienced and it's still effective which is pretty lame.
Every time I read your username I wonder if you liked that old tune rockit. Report this
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 12:22pm Never heard of it.
He's brilliant in superman. You should netflix that shit, cause its so good.
(I mean, he hadn't even seen Superman III)
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 12:37pm I've actually been watching documentaries and my favorite anime lately. Ever heard of Style Wars or Fist Of The North Star?
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 12:42pm Sorry. Can't say I have.
(This is where I started to get annoyed that he wasn't
getting that all of my responses were really short and closed ended. Some people may say its my fault for not just telling him right off that I wasn't interested, but I was trying to be fair, and I was also really bored at work.)
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 1:31pm Style Wars is a Documentary about early NYC graffiti. The Fist Of The North Star from the 80s has like 152 episodes and a addictive story.
Do you like that old school song rockit?
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 1:37pm Never heard the song.
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 1:42pm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBqFyDM3V64
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 2:11pm Yeah. That's the jam right there. I had no idea that's what the song was called.
That video is terrifying.
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 2:28pm You thought that video was scary? Me too!
Do you like horror movies? Somebody made a short video with 180 clips.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCtmkfkrAdw&has_verified=
(I had to laugh at his "Me too!". I mean, I could totally imagine him being genuinely surprised that I thought the video was scary.)
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 2:33pm Yeah, I can't watch it right now, but maybe later.
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 2:54pm Oops. Sorry.
okcupid says we don't match whatsoever and are 64% enemies but you've been a really cool person to talk to. Thanks.
Wouldn't it be cool to meet someone in real life and just have things click again?
(At this point I was just a little confused. It was so weird how he wistfully was talking about meeting someone and "clicking again." I also thought he was you know, realizing this wasn't goin to work out, and so thought he was waxing poetic about not being to find his match.)
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 2:59pm I don't really know what you mean by "again", cause I can generally get along with everyone I meet, but these emails have been nice, and at least now I know the name of that Herbie Hancock song.
Good luck!
(I was a little annoyed that he tried to lump me in as someone who can't get along with or "click" with people after meeting them, so I had to get that little dig in)
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 3:13pm What do you mean by good luck?
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 3:18pm You know. On your search. I don't really think this is going to evolve past an email relationship so...you know...good luck.
(When I realized that he didn't get it, I felt sorry for him)
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 3:26pm Bummer. I've been through this so many times but it still hurts. You're not even giving me a real chance.
Good luck. Yeah. Whatever.
(Not to sound like a cold hearted snake, but I laughed out loud at this message. I mean. It was so sad, and I wasn't even sure if he was being serious or not)
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 3:30pm Sorry guy. I'm just looking for someone who's closer to my age, and that I have more in common with, musically, socially etc.
You shouldn't be "hurt" by anything. Its not necessarily a reflection on you. I truly believe there is someone for everyone and when you find them, you'll feel it.
(See? I felt bad about laughing, so I tried to write something that would make him feel better. Really. I was trying to make him feel better)
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 3:43pm Don't write me anymore.
(Yes, sir!)
The formatting is a little off, so I tried to clean it up a little. In the future I will be including pictures but this guy blocked me, so I can't copy and paste.
Guy: Dec. 26, 2010 – 1:30pm Sup? My profile doesn't really represent me that well so maybe writing you might have been a better idea. Why stand up comedy? Richard Pryor was really good on SNL. I also liked John Leguizamo when I was a kid.
(I wasn't really interested in this guy, and I usually ignore messages of this sort, but I felt bad. Maybe I was feeling sentimental cause of the holidays, or a little too used to the rejection of not getting a response. Either way, I responded a few days later, and decided to make small talk, keep it short, and then you know, let him know it wasn't going to work.)
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 11:17am Pryors a legend of course. He's real good in Superman iii ( my favorite one).
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 12:18pm I only saw The Toy and his skit about taking LSD for the first time. I was ROFLing. Some stand up comics then try doing skits about what they haven't experienced and it's still effective which is pretty lame.
Every time I read your username I wonder if you liked that old tune rockit. Report this
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 12:22pm Never heard of it.
He's brilliant in superman. You should netflix that shit, cause its so good.
(I mean, he hadn't even seen Superman III)
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 12:37pm I've actually been watching documentaries and my favorite anime lately. Ever heard of Style Wars or Fist Of The North Star?
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 12:42pm Sorry. Can't say I have.
(This is where I started to get annoyed that he wasn't
getting that all of my responses were really short and closed ended. Some people may say its my fault for not just telling him right off that I wasn't interested, but I was trying to be fair, and I was also really bored at work.)
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 1:31pm Style Wars is a Documentary about early NYC graffiti. The Fist Of The North Star from the 80s has like 152 episodes and a addictive story.
Do you like that old school song rockit?
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 1:37pm Never heard the song.
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 1:42pm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBqFyDM3V64
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 2:11pm Yeah. That's the jam right there. I had no idea that's what the song was called.
That video is terrifying.
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 2:28pm You thought that video was scary? Me too!
Do you like horror movies? Somebody made a short video with 180 clips.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCtmkfkrAdw&has_verified=
(I had to laugh at his "Me too!". I mean, I could totally imagine him being genuinely surprised that I thought the video was scary.)
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 2:33pm Yeah, I can't watch it right now, but maybe later.
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 2:54pm Oops. Sorry.
okcupid says we don't match whatsoever and are 64% enemies but you've been a really cool person to talk to. Thanks.
Wouldn't it be cool to meet someone in real life and just have things click again?
(At this point I was just a little confused. It was so weird how he wistfully was talking about meeting someone and "clicking again." I also thought he was you know, realizing this wasn't goin to work out, and so thought he was waxing poetic about not being to find his match.)
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 2:59pm I don't really know what you mean by "again", cause I can generally get along with everyone I meet, but these emails have been nice, and at least now I know the name of that Herbie Hancock song.
Good luck!
(I was a little annoyed that he tried to lump me in as someone who can't get along with or "click" with people after meeting them, so I had to get that little dig in)
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 3:13pm What do you mean by good luck?
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 3:18pm You know. On your search. I don't really think this is going to evolve past an email relationship so...you know...good luck.
(When I realized that he didn't get it, I felt sorry for him)
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 3:26pm Bummer. I've been through this so many times but it still hurts. You're not even giving me a real chance.
Good luck. Yeah. Whatever.
(Not to sound like a cold hearted snake, but I laughed out loud at this message. I mean. It was so sad, and I wasn't even sure if he was being serious or not)
Me: Dec. 28, 2010 – 3:30pm Sorry guy. I'm just looking for someone who's closer to my age, and that I have more in common with, musically, socially etc.
You shouldn't be "hurt" by anything. Its not necessarily a reflection on you. I truly believe there is someone for everyone and when you find them, you'll feel it.
(See? I felt bad about laughing, so I tried to write something that would make him feel better. Really. I was trying to make him feel better)
Guy: Dec. 28, 2010 – 3:43pm Don't write me anymore.
(Yes, sir!)
Post 1
Since one of the contributing factors to me moving to Los Angeles was to find a, potentially long term boyfriend, I've been out in full force, both socially and via the world wide web.
I've had quite a few doozy of some experiences, and am now going to blog them.
Most of these posts will probably just be email exchanges/chats I've had with these guys, becasue apparently I can never get to first date-hood, but whatever. They're still pretty entertaining, and at least I didn't have to use my good mascara.
I've had quite a few doozy of some experiences, and am now going to blog them.
Most of these posts will probably just be email exchanges/chats I've had with these guys, becasue apparently I can never get to first date-hood, but whatever. They're still pretty entertaining, and at least I didn't have to use my good mascara.
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