Gross and grosser

One of the things I hate about online dating, is the influx of guys who have a) really sleazy profile names, or b) send you sexually suggestive messages/winks/pictures.
Guess what guy, I'm not interested in your floppy weiner, or am I going to tell you what I like to do in the bedroom.
Does that work? Do these guys just troll for ladies to harrass and that 1 time out of 100, some woman will be like, "Wow. He has his top off. I'm totally into that."?

Gross. The past few weeks 2 of these turds have messaged me.
The first was this little gem: LilCowboy69.



Wow. Really. Your profile name has the numbers 6 and 9 in them? Thats great that you're 10 and those are the first 2 numbers you thought up to make your profile name unique. His message to me, at 2 in the morning, by the way consisted of this:

Wink
Jan. 12, 2011 – 2:22am looks up U Rock!! do you mind guys shorter then yourself?

I didn't and still don't really understand what "looks up u rock" means, so in a fit of grumpiness I responded:

I guess it depends on how cute they are. And if they use the letter "u" instead of the word "you"

I know, I'm a total jerk. Thats why it took all of my strength to not blow "funoncam"'s chest hair back when he messaged me last night:



Wink
Jan. 18, 2011 – 11:45pm don't be shy. I'm not... ;)


The real asshole in me wanted to respond, "Yes. I'll show you my chest too. Its just as chubby but not nearly as hairy", or tell him I'm a pre-op transsexual, and ask if he has a problem with that. He strikes me as the type that would.

Secondly, I hate emoticons. I mean, I understand sometimes you want to send one cause its hard to read the tone of someones text/email...but really. Don't "wink" at someone on an online dating profile and then wink in an emoticon.

Thirdly..and this is my biggest issue. If you're going to have your profile picture be of you without a shirt on...at least make sure your body is awesome.
Just sayin' guys..